Singing

I'm going to tell you about something that has been in my life, on my mind, and somewhat unknown(well, at least to some of you). Now, this issue might seem so very small, but to me it has been a small battle waged between my sinful desires to quit and God's calling me to serve. I knew God wanted me to serve in my church. I was already involved in the youth group and knew that there weren't very many other ministries that I could be a part of. Then one Sunday, while I was reading through the bulletin, it hit me. God wanted me to sing. I wrestled with this realization for some time before actually going and talking to the music pastor. The day I went and sang for him, I felt a certain peace, and I knew that I had done the right thing in my obedience to God. So, I started singing in church every other Sunday. I have never done anything like this in my life. I've sang in choirs, and I've sang all over the state of Washington, but never with a mic directly in front of me, on a stage with only one other person. Needless to say it took me a while to get comfortable on stage. I spent a lot of time in Prayer, and as time passed I started feeling more comfortable. After I got back from Europe our music pastor, Jared, asked me to lead sing a song. I did it. I survived, but I was so very nervous. I've done it a few times now, and each time I'm surprised that I make it through the song since I can't really feel anything but my heart beating out of my chest. I've messed up. I've really messed up. And this morning when I was getting ready to sing again I had a lot of questions running through my head about my motives for singing. Why can't I just sing, instead of constantly worrying about making mistakes? Why does God want me singing on stage if I can't seem to do it without feeling like a failure.
Failure? Seriously? How can I fail these people? Does making a mistake on stage really add up to failing? It did in my mind until this morning. A sermon I listened to once said that serving is about obeying God, and we can't consider what people will think of us, we must only consider our obligation to obey. I can't stand on stage worried about what these people will go home saying when I totally mess up a song. I can't because I know that by being on that stage and singing, with pure intentions, to my Lord and Savior because HE asked me to is me fulfilling my obligation to obey.
So I will continue to sing. I will enjoy being able to serve the people of my church and my God in this way. I might not be the best, and I will probably make more mistakes, but I can look at those mistakes in a new light. God has given me this opportunity to show that I am a human who makes mistakes, but one that is willing to obey Him regardless.

Psalm 30:4

"Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name."

Psalm 68:4

"Sing to God, sing praises to his name"

Psalm 145:1-3

"I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever. Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable."

Psalm 150

"Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!"