Forgiveness

I was sitting on my bed tonight contemplating the term/action of forgiveness. It is a word that is said quite often in our vocabulary, but perhaps one that should be acted upon more regularly. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have said to Tre or Maggie, "you need to go apologize and ask for forgiveness." It is common for us to speak of the forgiveness we have received from Christ through His death on the cross. I John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Forgiveness. We need it. We can't live without it. And yet sometimes we assume we have received it, when in fact we have not asked for it. Or, we think we have forgiven someone who has wronged us, but time and time again we cannot stop it from clouding our perception of that person. I am guilty. I am the worst offender. I often forget to stomp down my pride and admit my wrongdoing. I regularly assume that my family will automatically forgive me, even when I don't ask. How prideful! How wrong of me!

That pride, that admitting of wrongdoing, is hard, even when it is just a confession to my God.

The real reason I was thinking of forgiveness tonight is because I hate how pride plays a roll in my forgiveness of others. I like to think that I am quick to forgive. I think most of the time that I am. But every once in a while I find myself remembering sins that people have committed against me. Why, if I have truly forgiven, do I continue to harbor the memory?

Somethings will never go away, some memories will never fade, but I need to make sure that I carry no bitterness or resentment. I need to always remember that no matter what was done to me, it did not happen by mistake. God is in control of everything that did, is, and will happen in my life. I don't deserve the forgiveness and grace I was granted through Jesus' death on the cross. So I need to remember that I need to grant forgiveness, and ask for forgiveness even when my sinful pride says that they don't deserve the same grace. It is a life long battle, but one I will fight.