Dreams of an Insomniac

Well, it's been months, many sleepless nights, endless pondering, some tears, lots of stress, and only one decision that needed to be made. I think I've made my decision. Think, being the key word in that sentence. I have felt torn between two things that are both good. It is not always easy to choose between right and wrong, but it is nearly impossible to choose between good and good. I've been trusting that God would show me the way, and though I don't know that I'm 100% decided, I do know that I feel that I'm being lead towards one of those paths. God has truly taken the burden of my decision, and I'm still trusting Him to shut that door if it isn't the one He wants me taking. I'm a little scared that some people will be disappointed, but if I know that I'm doing the right thing, then nothing else really matters. I feel like a very mean person for not posting here what my decision is, but until I know if I'm for sure going, or for sure staying I'm not going to tell. I'll post as soon as I'm sure(which knowing me, could be Jan. 7th. which is the day I have to be in Pullman if I'm going to return) :) Please continue to pray.

2008

2008

I can hardly believe that the year is almost over. Every year we seem to think that the current year has passed faster than the previous year, and yet time continues on as it always has. As I get older I appreciate more and more the time we have. Time to serve and glorify our Lord, time to serve and love one another.

This year has been one of much adventure, fun, growth, and learning.

Becky and I on our way to the store.....good times.

God again has blessed me with the presence of my incredible roommate Becky. She has been so patient and kind, such a willing friend, and the most encouraging person in my life. She has always been available to listen to me, even when we both know I'm not being logical. She puts up with my crazy adventures and ideas. I couldn't be more thankful for this incredible person that God has created. A child of His that I've had the opportunity to know.

Tre, Maggie and I

I was able to continue on in the most fun job I've ever had. Being a nanny is not only a great experience, it has given me the ability to get to know two very complex little beings. I love these kids, and I'm glad that God sent me to their family. What a gift.

I can't believe how much God has given to me this year. He has been very generous in his dealings with me. This definitely hasn't been the easiest year of my life, but God has shown me His presence in ways I had never noticed before. He has shown me areas of my life that needed to change, and then helped me to remove those idols. I've failed in ways I didn't know I could, but I always knew that God was showing me something through my sinful stupidity.

Getting Heidi ready

God allowed me to see my beautiful cousin Heidi marry an incredible, godly man. I'm so thankful and glad that I got to be a part of that.

Chelsea's car at the scene

God also took two of my favorite people to heaven this year. Through it all I have seen God work, and felt His presence in my life in ways I couldn't have expected. I've never felt more at peace then I do about Chelsea's death. I haven't questioned for one second God's control of all situations, including these. I'm so glad that God brought her into my life, and even though it feels like she had her life cut short it isn't true. She is in Heaven......I'll just have to wait a while to see her again. I definitely miss her.

My dear grandfather was an incredible man, who leaves behind him a legacy of godly children and grandchildren. I hope I can be remembered as he was. I'm so thankful that God placed me in his family, but even more thankful that I will see my grandfather again one day.

At my grandfathers funeral we each got to put a handful of dirt onto the casket.

In October I was able to go hunting with my dad, brothers and sisters. We had a wonderful time, and I got to see all kinds of incredible scenery. It was so much fun to be in the mountains and have time to be away from civilization and our normal routines. I'm so thankful for those two weeks.

Up hunting I got to see the sunset behind Mt. Rainier every night....It was incredible every time.

I had one of the most memorable summers of my life. I got to go and do things most people will never get the chance to do. It was awesome seeing God provide a way to Europe for me, and then being able to see His work being done in all of these countries. We were able to hear stories and be encouraged. I think I gained more then I left behind. What can I say? I do not deserve all that God has sent my way.

In front of Bojnice Castle in Slovakia.

Slovakia was a time of encouragement and fun. Being with the church family was one of the highlights of my summer.

I could not have asked for a better team. Our ability to work together and get along was uncanny. It was a gift from God that I got to spend time with these awesome brothers and sisters.

Maggie and I reading the twilight Saga.....we had way to much fun together.

God has also given me time with the kids in my youth group. Time to get to know them, and also allow them to know me. I have been told that spending time with middle school aged kids isn't easy, but I have found otherwise. I have realized this year what a gift it is to be with these kids. They are so impressionable, yet eager to learn and do what is right. They have taught me a lot, and challenged me in ways they couldn't even understand.

I was able to stay with a few different of these families while their parents were out of town. Maggie and I(picture above) found many ways to spend our 10 days together, but mostly we just had undescribable fun. I was blessed by getting to know those kids on a different level. I've also been able to host numerous girly sleep overs, and I've realized what a blessing it is to be single and living on my own. There is nothing stopping me from opening up my apartment to these kids.

Tre and I one morning with a beautiful sunrise.

I can't believe what a blessed life I have. Not only do we not deserve all that is provided for us, we don't deserve the sacrifice He made on our behalf by sending us His son. I pray that in 2009 I am able to glorify God with my life, and that I will continue to grow and change for His glory.

One of my favorite pictures of my brother Tim. This was taken opening morning of hunting season.

Thursday

I was driving to work this morning at 5:45 and saw the most incredible moon. It was nearly full and there was a thin layer of clouds illuminated by the bright reflection. I just sat in my car for 10 minutes and stared at it before I went into work. I am so thankful that I had that time just to appreciate God's creation and thank Him.

I know I haven't posted much lately. A lot has been going on with my grandfathers funeral, and I was house sitting for three different families over the Thanksgiving holiday. I was staying all last week with Maggie P, a girl from my youth group, while her parents were in Costa Rica. We had the most amazing time together, and I must admit that I miss hanging out with her this week. I'm thankful that my world is finally getting back to somewhat of a "normal" routine.

I have a few pictures I'll try to get up here soon. Nothing to exciting but pictures from this and that.

A Strange Sort of Day

I'm in a strange sort of mindset today. One where all you think you can do is listen to music and dialogue with ones self. I have felt very little need for interaction today, which is strange for an extrovert like me. I spent hours sitting in a coffee shop writing in my journal and reading a few different books. I think that the other people were confused at what I was doing since I sat there for so long going back and forth between writing in my journal and reading my books. I'm sure it looked strange. I was so focused, yet distracted by my need to just spend time alone. I contemplated life, hard work, school, all the while listening to some really good music.
I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that my life is cruising by and I'm just waiting for something to change. I'm not sure what I'm waiting for, but I must be waiting for something since I'm not moving forward with my goals and ambitions. I'm definitely happy right now, and I love living in Yakima, but I think I'm limiting myself. I don't want to be someone that gets stuck not because they have to be, but because they allow themselves to be. I am not a lazy person, and I know that I can accomplish anything, yet I can't seem to find the necessary motivation or peace to proceed forward. This is so unlike me I can hardly process my thoughts. Decisions are always stressful for me, but I don't want to compact that by making a poor decision. I want to make the decision that is pleasing to my God. I want to truly be in submission to His will. But am I? Is not being in School where God wants me? How come I don't have peace about ANY of my options? I don't know if I'm supposed to stay here, but I also don't know if I'm supposed to be back at WSU. It is definitely hard to think of anything else with all these things bouncing around in my head. What to do, what to do.

Twilight

I wasn't a fan. Yet, I was convinced by three very convincing girls to go with them to see the movie. I was very apprehensive, especially considering my absolute abhorrence of scary movies. However, I went and actually enjoyed the movie. Yes, even I was drawn to the creepy, pale, yet somehow handsome Edward and the beautiful, strange, and slightly crazy Bella. I liked the movie. Although it isn't an Oscar contender it does hit a nerve with the romantic types. I mean what girl doesn't want to have some guy so drawn to her that he is willing to expose what he really is to save her life? Every girl wants a handsome guy to be protecting her, someone to stand up for her.
The movie is no doubt a ploy to get every person who watched the movie without reading the books to run to their nearest Borders or Barnes and Noble with the intention of buying and reading all four books in the next five days without putting them down. I wont knock it though, even I must admit that reading the books doesn't sound as painful as it did a few days ago. I guess even I'm a sucker for cheesy, vampirey, teen romances.....
But, even though I liked the movie one thing bothers me. Now, I know that I can't expect Hollywood to uphold my Christian beliefs, but for some reason I'm a little disappointed in their portrayal of this teen romance. I'm not against teens dating but I do worry that every girl's ideal of the perfect guy might be tainted by the dangerous, handsome, yet again creepy Edward. Sure, its a movie, but I know from spending time with lots of young teens that these girls do emulate what they see in movies. Where else could they possibly learn about the does and don'ts of dating(unless, of course, parents really do their job). They want an ending like in Twilight. These girls want or think the want a guy with whom they are "unconditionally and irrevocably in love".
Yet, These teens aren't just falling in love. They are talking about forever, and not a marriage sort of forever. She was ready for forever even before she really knew Edward. Even before she had spent much time with him she was "in love". Is that what I want my 12 yr. old Maggie thinking is the proper course of action? Fall in love first, figure out if you like the guy second? No, but then there is another question. Am I reading into nothing? Am I trying to find a reason to not recommend this film to my young friends? Honestly, I'm not sure. I have so many teen girls around me that it makes that last question a little hard to answer. The movie was entertaining and I'm glad I was able to see it, but these are still very impressionable girls. Is my recommendation of this film in their best interest? I guess it depends on the girl but it's a hard question to answer.........

Singing

I'm going to tell you about something that has been in my life, on my mind, and somewhat unknown(well, at least to some of you). Now, this issue might seem so very small, but to me it has been a small battle waged between my sinful desires to quit and God's calling me to serve. I knew God wanted me to serve in my church. I was already involved in the youth group and knew that there weren't very many other ministries that I could be a part of. Then one Sunday, while I was reading through the bulletin, it hit me. God wanted me to sing. I wrestled with this realization for some time before actually going and talking to the music pastor. The day I went and sang for him, I felt a certain peace, and I knew that I had done the right thing in my obedience to God. So, I started singing in church every other Sunday. I have never done anything like this in my life. I've sang in choirs, and I've sang all over the state of Washington, but never with a mic directly in front of me, on a stage with only one other person. Needless to say it took me a while to get comfortable on stage. I spent a lot of time in Prayer, and as time passed I started feeling more comfortable. After I got back from Europe our music pastor, Jared, asked me to lead sing a song. I did it. I survived, but I was so very nervous. I've done it a few times now, and each time I'm surprised that I make it through the song since I can't really feel anything but my heart beating out of my chest. I've messed up. I've really messed up. And this morning when I was getting ready to sing again I had a lot of questions running through my head about my motives for singing. Why can't I just sing, instead of constantly worrying about making mistakes? Why does God want me singing on stage if I can't seem to do it without feeling like a failure.
Failure? Seriously? How can I fail these people? Does making a mistake on stage really add up to failing? It did in my mind until this morning. A sermon I listened to once said that serving is about obeying God, and we can't consider what people will think of us, we must only consider our obligation to obey. I can't stand on stage worried about what these people will go home saying when I totally mess up a song. I can't because I know that by being on that stage and singing, with pure intentions, to my Lord and Savior because HE asked me to is me fulfilling my obligation to obey.
So I will continue to sing. I will enjoy being able to serve the people of my church and my God in this way. I might not be the best, and I will probably make more mistakes, but I can look at those mistakes in a new light. God has given me this opportunity to show that I am a human who makes mistakes, but one that is willing to obey Him regardless.

Psalm 30:4

"Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name."

Psalm 68:4

"Sing to God, sing praises to his name"

Psalm 145:1-3

"I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever. Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable."

Psalm 150

"Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!"

I'm Thankful For..............

It's that time of year where we all tend to vocalize everything that we are thankful for. Thanksgiving will soon be upon us, and as I thought of that, I too thought of everything I was thankful for. Now, the list is extensive and even though I wont post everything I've decided to follow, a little belatedly, in Hilary and Tim's footsteps. What a great year I've had, and I am so thankful for everything....even the things I forget to post.

I'm Thankful For.........

God's provision

Friendships

Getting reacquainted with old friends

Making new friends

Belgium Chocolate

Sunsets

Hilary

Warm Showers

Horse Back Riding

Jane

Jane's art in my apartment

The Dowling Family

Classic Literature

Hilary's ceaseless friendship

Coffee

A good conversation over a cup of coffee

The Fries Family

Tyffany's ability to listen to all I have to say(and there is a lot)

Pride and Prejudice

Reduced Fat Wheat Thins

Music

My Piano

that Hilary was brave enough to go on the slingshot

Tre's joke titled "A tall, blond Polish man"

Campfires and Roasting Marshmallows

Haribo Marshmallows

My sister Molly

her laugh and her sarcastic humor

my time in Venezuela with Molly

The Boothman Family

that I always feel welcome at 3805 Webster

The generosity of others

Spring Rain

In-flight movies

My family

Hunting

Time with Dad

Godly Grandparents

Reading my Bible in Starbucks

Pastor John's Preaching

My youth group kids

An extended family that trusts and obeys God

My Bible

The night sky

Early mornings

The book of Romans

Kittens

Hannah

Hannah's ability to work hard, really hard

"My" KidsSnow

God's Mercy

A comfortable bed

My Car

An incredible roommate

Becky's example of discipline

Sunrises

Chilly Mornings

New running shoes

Skype

Poland

Slovakia

early morning walks with friends

Paul and Betty Weresch

The Hospitality of our Church Family in Europe

Walking through the fields above Pech

Laura and Tony

that I get to see Laura be an incredible mom

A great small group

Forgiveness

The Pichura family and their example of trust

Nap Time

VeheirJheiryn

Summer

Safe Travel

Family Poker nights

Kurt

that Kurt ONLY links fingers

A Heavenly Father

My Mother and her constant love

Jane's ability to take nothing and create something incredible

Singing in Bad Godesberg and making money

Encouragement

Emails

Burt's Beeswax

Neighbors that subsidize our heating bill

Peaches straight from the tree

Fresh Fruit

Fall

Thunder Storms

Rain

Brian

his sensitivity and eagerness to please

Long walk's with Annie in the Rain

Scarves
Bright Colors

My incredible cousins

My time at WSU
Living with Hilary

Cheese Toast Tuesday

Talks that go until 3 in the morning

Socks that don't have holes

My brother Tim

Tim's ability to work long, hard hours with a good attitude.

My brother's godly wife

Justification

Musli with fresh Fruit

Godly Women

Mrs. C

The wisdom of others

Wise advice

The Family Reunion
singing "A whole new world" with Peter

Digital Cameras

Hilary's Facial Expressions

Trials

Friends that I wont see again until Heaven

God's sovereignty

Hilary and Me

These are pictures of Hilary and me from the past few years.
Isn't it incredible that God put my best friend right in my family?

Hunting Video

I am having so much fun with these videos. This is one of photos from our weeks of hunting. Enjoy!

Japanese Exchange Student...again

Annie and I had the most incredible summer. We got to know one another even better then we ever thought possible. I loved being able to be in Europe with her, and I'm so thankful for the time God gave us together.

An Adventure.....a little unexpected.

I've decided to tell this story. One that God brought my way for two reasons(probably more, but I haven't learnt them yet) 1.)To help me get over my fear of asking for help(I truly think this is a pride issue) 2.)To spend some time really praying.

I'll call this adventure

THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

Everything was fine and dandy in the world of Carrie, until this morning at 7am. I am currently house sitting for a family from church while they are on vacation in Mexico. They have three dogs, and two cats, and they live in a house in town. My morning routine is that I get out of bed, let the dogs out, brush my teeth, let the dogs in, feed them, and then get on with my day. This house is a two story house and there is a balcony that runs all along the second story. We feed the dogs on the balcony. I let the dogs onto the balcony, and followed them out. I shut the door behind me because I didn't want them to get back into the house. I fed them, and played with them for a minute before turning to go back in. Well, a pulled at the sliding glass door, and it was locked. I chuckled a little knowing that the door couldn't be locked because I had just walked out the door, so I tried again, but this time harder......no, it was really locked. My mind sort of stopped. WHAT??? How is this possible? I just came out that door, how could it be locked?
This is when I decided that calm was the best. I tried every sliding glass door along the balcony(there are 5)....no luck.....I went to the kitchen window.....also no luck. This is the moment I started to cry. OK, what do I do? This is seriously funny....I'm trapped on a balcony. Well, I start to think of my options, and none of them are good. 1. Stay on the balcony(where is this going to get me.) 2. Jump off the balcony. The trouble with option two is that once I'm off the balcony what do I do? I don't have shoes on, and I'm in my basketball shorts and a sweatshirt. My hair is a mess, and I'm sure that crying helped my appearance a lot. My phone is in the house, along with my key's and everything else. So, I keep trying to get the door's and window open....again no luck. I tried everything. I searched the balcony for anything that might help me at all. Well, at some point I decided that I really needed to pray. So I prayed for a while. A long while.

I decided that waving down a passing car for help would be a good idea. I stood at the street end of the deck for a long time, waving at every passing car. Now, this wasn't pageant waving, this was fierce, "I need help", waving. No one would stop. I started to really get worried. I'd been trapped on this balcony for some time now. I sat down, and started to really cry(added to this was my extreme fear of heights). All of a sudden I heard a car coming, so I jumped up. It happened to be their neighbor, so when she got out of her car, I started yelling, "Excuse me, can you help me?" She finally heard me and walked over to the fence. I told her my situation, and asked her if she could call my dad. She was very kind, and got a hold of my dad straight away. So, my dad came to rescue this damsel in distress.....serious distress. He helped me jump off the balcony, and took me to work with him(in my bare feet, basketball shorts, sweatshirt, with disheveled hair). So now that the first problem was solved.....we had to figure out how to get back into the house.
I tried calling the family and seeing if they had a spare key hidden somewhere, but they didn't return my call. So then we tried calling the locksmith, but they told us that they couldn't help us at all, even if the family called from Mexico. They said that their insurance only allowed them to open the door if the property owner was present. Great....now we are really stuck.

*Note* I'm afraid of being in strange houses alone, so prior to this incident I had personally made sure that every window and door was securely shut and locked around the entire house.**

My brother Tim came and got me at the restaurants, and we headed back over to the house together to see what we could do. I broke into the garage somehow and we found some old metal coat hanger. Now, I mentioned before that there are 5 sliding glass doors around this house, so we tried each one again. One of the doors wasn't locked, but had a metal pole in the sliding path. So we started using the coat hangers to try to remove the metal pole. Two HOURS later Tim somehow used the hanger to lift up the pole and we walked into the house. It was incredible. I don't think these people have much to worry about. It was nearly impossible to break into their house. Praise God! It ended up being a pretty good day when we finally got back into the house. I got locked out of the house around 7 am, and got back in around 3.......now that really is an adventure.

The Adventures of Sprig

Well, Elk hunting was work, but not all work. We would often head off on adventures during the day time when you can't hunt. Because elk are nocturnal the best hours of hunting are in the early morning, and right before sunset. Yesterday Hannah and I went on a little walk up the road. We found a broken off branch, and promptly named him sprig. He then came with us on our walk, and we would stop and take pictures with him when we thought of interesting things. We are definitely silly, but it was an incredible amount of fun. Most of these pictures are unexplainable, but please enjoy.

THE ADVENTURES OF SPRIG

(and a few other photo's)

by: Carrie and Hannah Calhoun

Now, Sprig wasn't found yet in this one.....




Or this one.......aren't we HOTT?

Mountain Women at their finest.


Hannah




Me



Hannah and the fallen tree(sprigs previous home)

Meet Sprig.

"There she weaves by night and day

A magic web with colours gay.

She has heard a whisper say,

A curse is on her if she stay

To look down to Camelot."

I didn't want to drop him.

He doubles as a duster.

We were having a blinking contest. He won.

He knew the way home.

Hanging out in the truck

He then headed over to his family reunion

He took a look through dad's binoculars

On the walk home.

Hannah and Sprig in the tree.

Hannah, a little jealous that I had him.

I guess I was jealous too.

unexplainable.

Jake liked Sprig.


He was helping out with dinner.

A Week of Hunting

Hunting! What a great week. For all of you that don't know, my siblings Hannah, Molly, Kurt, and I were all drawn for Branch Bull tags this year. I got the happy news while I was in Europe, and we have all been anxiously awaiting October 20 since then. We went up last Sunday(dad and Tim went up on Thursday to set up camp) and got all ready to start hunting on Monday. There were six of us in total, the four hunters and the two guides, my dad and brother Tim. We hunted all this week. Although I haven't brought home an animal yet, it has been one of the most fun weeks. I will admit that I was a little afraid to spend so much time alone, crammed into two little tents, with five other people, but we had a fantastic time. We got up every morning at 5:30, ate breakfast, and started walking. Some of us had farther to walk then others, but we all saw lots of incredible views, and lots of elk. Every morning this week I've watched the sunrise while sitting on the edge of a cliff looking for elk. It was so much fun.

I have all of next week to hunt as well, but my chance of seeing a bull could drop excessively since all the regular season spike hunters will be roaming around my mountains looking for a spike(a spike is a young bull with only one horn on either side, for all you non-hunter types). I don't know if I'll see a bull, but I haven't given up yet.

I took lots of pictures, and here are a few for you to enjoy.

This was the view I had every morning this week. I'm not sure that pictures really do it justice.

Kurt and I hunting right before sunset.

My view of Mt. Rainier

Brian and I


Believe it or not this picture and the one right below were taken approx. 1 hour apart.....the weather can change really quickly.

Before the storm blew in.

(*note* when sitting on the edge of a cliff for hours and hours it can get boring, and taking pictures of your shoes becomes common place. I have so many....but I'll spare you. I'm not the only one either, my sister Hannah has quite a few of her boots as well.)

Kurt packing out his bull.

All the boys walking home after the long, but successful, hunt.

All the girls

Tim looking for elk for me to shoot.